Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
This sums up the entire month of January for me.
Okay, everyone, this is the Boondock Saints drinking game. Here’s a list of twenty-four different rules. Drink whenever one of these things happens.. Next up "Playing overcomplicated drinking games"
8 Dumb Mistakes You Will Make as a First-Time Drinker [Click for 6 more]
I just wanted the first few weeks of school to go well. Is that too much to ask for? I guess so.
5 years of dating one person teaches you something so valuable and it is something you should cherish. There is absolutely no such thing as a perfect person. No matter how put together someone looks, it doesn’t always guarantee that they are always that way. We are all human and we will have our moments of doubt and insecurity. We may find weaknesses in others and in ourselves, but it shouldn’t deter you from loving someone whole-heartedly. The one variable that should always remain constant is happiness. Money and friends come and go, but true love should never change or fade. Perfection doesn’t exist, physically or internally. Make up can make you appear beautiful, but it can’t transform a woman who is hideous on the inside. It’s always important to stay grounded and to remember that no one is perfect. Accept yourself as you are, empower others, and change what hinders your happiness.
Here I am drinking my coffee and scrolling through tumblr whilst listening to some retro pop my sisters played in the early days (early to me at least…). Then, a thought pops up into my head. As much as I enjoy the company of others, I feel like I am in a never ending battle of seclusion. Allow me to further explain what I mean by seclusion…
Growing up, I was always different from everyone else. I was never really liked by a lot of people, and some could go as far as calling me an outsider. I’ve always been an outsider. Despite any similarities I have with any of my “friends” or family, I’ve always felt different. I love the company of others, but I’d rather be by myself. I don’t like being by myself… in other words,
alone. I’ve always felt alienated since birth. The huge age gap between my sisters and I. Growing up with different standards. Being picked on and bullied. Always being the odd-one-out when I spent time with my cousins (even though I spent most of that time not talking or hanging out with them).
Maybe I continue to alienate myself and separate myself from the company of others because that’s all I know what to do. I am forever going to be socially awkward.
I always feel that longing to belong and be able to relate. Surprisingly, I’ve only found two people like that. My other half, and one of my friends from church. I’m not close to them or drawn to them because they are the only people that relate to me. It’s the contrary of that. I chose to have them in my life because they are beautiful souls and they love me unconditionally; and I love them unconditionally.
Maybe I also alienate myself because I am comfortable with who I already have in my life. If so, why do I still have that lingering feeling to belong? It’s rare that I hang out with people outside of class or church (when I used to go). Sometimes, I force myself to go out and have fun. It’s not that I don’t like people (although, I find most of humanity to be repulsive), I’m just too lazy and too comfortable with where I am. Most of the time, when I force myself to go out, I have a TON of fun. But, why don’t I do it more often? I guess I’m just a troubled young adult. What do you think?